Remembering the Road: Day 5

Day 5

Well, we ended up just staying at the house last night, skipping the tour and going to sleep early… just as well, the skies were cloudy so there wouldn’t have been much of a night sky to see. Besides, I wanted to get to Mt. Rushmore early in the morning to see it in dawn light. That meant getting up at about 4 a.m., something Cynthia was thrilled about. I think her exact words were “you’ve got to be fricking kidding me!” (Well, not quite “exact.”)

Of course, I was superserious, so we loaded the car and headed out. One great thing about being on rural roads at 5 a.m. is that you see plenty of wildlife. We caught up with antelope deer and a jackrabbit. Lots of cattle too, but I guess they aren’t really wildlife  though I’ve heard of some people confusing them with bear.


Beating all of the traffic, and nearly the sun, we arrived at Mt. Rushmore by 6 a.m. After running the tack-o-rama gauntlet of dinosaur parks, Flintstone cut-outs, and souvenir shops hawking Mt. Rushmore paperweights and oh so much more, we entered the National Monument grounds and found the whole thing to be much nicer than I ever would have guessed. I understand Indians don’t really like Mt. Rushmore’s existence… the faces of white men who pretty much further screwed the Indians carved into the mountains of the Black Hills, sacred to the tribe of this region. But, if you’re going to alienate an entire people, you might as well do it nicely, and Mt. Rushmore does it well… I was glad to see it. And as we drove around the monument, Cynthia smartly spotted a mountain goat ambling up the rocky ledges. Wanting to get a picture before it got away, I did what any man would do. I baaahed. Apparently I said something worthwhile because the mountain goat turned and posed for us before scampering away.


Next up was Crazy Horse, the monument to the Indian chief being carved, or rather, exploded from, a mountain just a few miles down the road… it’s also impressive. In size and scope, this is fantastically larger than Mt. Rushmore. It’s already 50 years in the making and at least 50 more to go. Apparently there is some controversy over this monument as well, but the private family carving it goes out of their way to give the impression that the project has the full blessing of the Indians of the region, and seems to try to further Indian causes. I have no idea whether they do or not, but that’s the clear message being sent. In any event, the project is 50 times bigger than Mt. Rushmore and it too is awing.

Being 9 a.m., we decided to get breakfast and then hit the road to get a move on to Wyoming. Plans were to skim the top part of Nebraska, but I missed a turn… the first of several of the day… and entered Wyoming directly.

Now here’s something I love about these Western states. The rural speed limit is high… often 75, and plenty of people do better than that. That’s great for making good time. But here’s the thing, as soon as we near a town, the speed limit dips to 30 or 25 or even 15. And everyone follows it! I don’t know if cops are really picky about it or what, but it amazes me that folks who were a second a go driving 80-90 MPH are way down to 15 without batting a lash.

Meanwhile, I feel completely out of place here, as our vehicle seems to be the only one since Minnesota that isn’t towing something. Everyone else is towing a horse, a camper, another car, motorcycles, dirt bikes, etc. I feel like I’m wearing jeans at a formal event.

Anyway, we made really good time getting into Wyoming and before long we spotted the snow-capped Rockies ahead. What a site! especially since the much of the scenery of Wyoming ain’t exactly pretty, what with neverending cattle ranches and industries of various types.

So we entered the Rockies, needing to cross them to get to Yellowstone. I can’t overstate just how beautiful they are. The foothills are bounded by the Big Horn National Forest. We followed a couple of off-road trails into some of these hills where we took in amazing views, beautiful wildflowers, and even some wildlife, namely deer and people from Montana.

One friendly Montana couple we followed up a hill brought with them their two cats (one of them in heat… she took a real shine to me!), their dog, their black-and-white TV, and some marijuana. They kindly offered it all to us, but we politely declined, needing no more pets, electrical equipment, or hallucinations for this journey.


As we crossed the mountains, we saw a moose and then some more deer. People from Montana proved to be more elusive, however, nearly as common were those who just can’t live without TV. Another set of campers had yet to make their fire or pitch any tents, but the satellite dish was already in position and pointing at the SE sky. Moose and bear have nothing on the Osbournes, although all could easily rip the head off a chicken. Then again, what the hell am I saying? I brought my laptop computer! Ugh.

Descending out of the mountain brought more beautiful scenery as well as bodily function noisemaking contests within the car. The judges are still out as to the victor… it might turn into an accumulative thing (the score, that is). I think it has to do with our beef and buffalo jerky consumption… a tasty treat that Cynthia is demanding with each pit stop. She says it tastes like some Australian sausage called kabana. It really tastes more like salty leather… and who can resist that?

Despite a wrong turn that cost us nearly 100 miles (and detected only when we started seeing Wall Drug signs again), and enabled us to see actual real tumbleweed, we made it to Cody, Wyoming, launching point for Yellowstone.

Cody is a cowboy/tourist town. There’s a nightly rodeo, to which we have tickets later this week, but when I asked a local if it’s just for tourists, she smiled and said, “uh, yeah.” That said, I don’t think the tourists actually get to ride rodeo… we just watch. So, locals are still required. I wonder what would happen if middle-aged dads got to buck broncos? I’m guessing there would be a world-class spinal center around here. Maybe there already is…

We enjoyed a nice dinner at a local place that also seems to cater to both locals and tourists. They have a bar that is truly amazing. Apparently, Queen Victoria gave Buffalo Bill Cody (the namesake of this town) this “million-dollar” bar and it really is amazing; intricate wood carvings with brass buffalo heads and giant mirrors. The rest of the restaurant is Cody high fashion: 12 deer heads, 3 elk heads, a buffalo head, and antler chandelier, and a few other antlered specimen that I didn’t closely inspect.


There were four older guys at the next table that looked just like Cody men. They had the Wranglers, the shot glasses, the loud voices and the weathered faces. But when one asked the other, “so, were you at IBM or AT&T?” I realized that Cody men must be much harder to pick out than I realized, not that I’m in the market for one, I just find it all very interesting.

By the way, we should receive some kind of commendation for the number of insects we’ve murdered. Our car has developed a loving patina of dust and insect body parts… it’s a rolling deathwagon as far as bugs are concerned. Bring them on!

It’s now 500 miles and 18 hours since my last sleep. Until the next update…

Josh and Cyn

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