Do NOT ask Marilyn

One of my secrets is that I am a regular, no, religious reader of the Sunday Parade magazine that comes with our paper.

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t like Parade magazine. I think it’s crap. But I’m addicted to it. I must read it. I feel uncentered, unbalanced when I don’t.

First, there’s the inside cover page of celebrity gossip, usually mixed with a dose of political nonsense. (Did you know David Hasselhoff is starring in “The Producers”? You do now!)

Then there’s Howard Huge, Born Loser and other completely unfunny comics. In Step with James Brady is a great way to get the most superficial and irrelevant information on the latest teen heartthrob. And the cherry on top is Marilyn vos Savant’s “Ask Marilyn” column.

She’s a “brilliant” woman with the highest IQ ever reported, or so she says. Apparently she was once listed in the Guiness Book of World Records and plenty of articles have been written about her. [Wikipedia entry]

Anyway, her column this week has the most idiotic question and answer I’ve ever seen. Basically, imagine a plastic tube that is six inches long and six inches in interior diameter. It is laying horizontal from left to right. Then stick a three-inch-diameter ball in one end and another in the other end. The question asks if one could get the ball on the left to come out the right and vice versa.

Her answer? Yes, you can do that! Just remove the ball on the left and pull through the ball on the right. Then put the removed ball back in and pull it through the right.

Oh, that’s brilliant! Just take the balls out! It’s like going to the doctor and saying, “Hey doc., it hurts when I do this.” And the doctor says, “No problem! Just stop doing that.”

Please, people, stop asking Marilyn.

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